My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
