At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
