U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
