You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
