I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
