I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
