So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
