even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
