I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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