She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
