She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
