There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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