I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
