Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
