Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
