I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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