JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
