He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
