if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
