How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
