I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize