We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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