Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on

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(503): View more from Oregon

It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(618): View more from Illinois

In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.

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(727): View more from Florida

he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.

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(702): View more from Nevada

They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love

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