I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize