Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
