Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
