Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
