I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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