the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
