The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
