He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
