she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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