I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize