SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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