OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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