I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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