Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
