JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
