Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
