it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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