STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize