How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
