My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
