yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
