it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
