He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
