can u get pink eye on your cock?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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