I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Quick, to the slutcave!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize