dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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