I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
