Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
