They should really pass out barf bags in church
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize