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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

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• (408): View more from California

  Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

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• (916): View more from California

  I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired

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• (818): View more from California

  My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.

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• (661): View more from California

  Did you pee in the oven last night??

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Wtf happened last night

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know

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