and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize