does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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