It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
