I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
