wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
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