I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
